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  • Writer's pictureGill Frost

How to lead, and why you need to

Updated: Apr 7, 2023

“Personal leadership is your commitment to take the lead in your own life. You take the opportunity to design, create, and achieve your ideal ways of living and leading. ​​Personal leadership is the kindling within. When you fan the inner flame, you unleash what you’re capable of.” J.D Meier

Somewhere along the line, “leadership” and “power” have become conflated with “ego” and “control”. Yet I believe the opposite is true.

Stepping into your personal power is where peace and harmony lie. It actually takes humility, the willingness to learn and be wrong. It usually involves deconstructing the ego, all the old stories about who you are and what you think you should be, into a softer and more compassionate you. Personal power is about ownership of your own life and choices, not your influence over others.

HOWEVER! The byproduct of claiming this power is also having an influence, and certainly being one. By default you start to set an example for others, to become a leader. You absolutely lead your own life, but this often has an effect on others. How many times have you been inspired by those who seem to live their lives fully, courageously? (Hello again, Bene Brown!) Do you admire those with strong principles, clear truths and authenticity? Even if it’s not conscious, we are influenced by what we see and experience, particularly by those who exhibit qualities we feel we want. We can admire a great role model boss or colleague, or a friend who seems great at setting boundaries, or someone we meet who just seems calm and in control of their lives. All of these things play out in our internal stories, we may unconsciously ape some aspects of behaviour or being we wish we had more more of. It has an effect on us, and it’s catching!

And this is why your leadership is so vital. I cannot stress enough how great an impact you can have just by courageously showing up in your own life, being who you really are, living by your own values. More than ever we need exemplars from people who are willing to shed ego to claim power. Sounds counterintuitive, but there’s a recognisable deep truth held within personal power. At heart, it is your willingness to be real and vulnerable, the bravery to take full ownership for your life, to let go of things that have held you back so you can really move forwards. It is not about posturing or proclaiming perfection, it’s gritty, messy, glorious authenticity!

Stepping into this, starting with being willing to take radical responsibility for myself and life, was both the hardest and easiest thing I’ve undertaken.

Hard because you really are developing acute self awareness, and this is painful and unwelcome at times. It all comes out: the shitty behaviour, the blaming, the not taking responsibility. It often feels easier if we can absolve ourselves, blame old habits or learned patterns. Or simply just other people! But really, truly, is it down to us, and us alone, to acknowledge that we are the creators of our own experiences.

And soooooo easy because, this is just who you are meant to be. Once you stop fighting yourself you get to move forwards with more grace and ease. You can simply spot when you need to make a change, when something isn’t right for you, when it’s time to show up and also time to back away.

It’s not about being in complete control, it’s about letting go and the humility to accept and understand what you really have control over, and what you don’t.

From this place, you have a beautiful autonomy over your own life. And this, my lovely friends, is how you are at your best, empowered and aligned, confident and more joyful.

It does take courage to show up, but guess what, we all have it! It’s innately human to have fears and worries, be scared of vulnerability and failure. It is also innate that we undeniably possess the inner resources to act in spite of fears. This may not be clear to you right now (I hear you, doubting inner critics!), maybe you need a bedrock of safety to act from. We all do.

Creating the kind of partnership where you can feel and be safe to start exploring and expressing all of you who are is what I specialise in. It’s a magical place where magical things happen. Asking for support and guidance on your journey is both brave and wise. We can’t always go it alone (ask me how I know!).

Personal leadership is what lights me up, both in my own life and accompanying others. Going on deep adventures with brave souls who KNOW they want to be more, have more and do more - of all they are and all they love. I will support your bravery, help uncover your authenticity and give you the space to expand into all that you are, safely and with integrity.

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